Public Republic

Eric Sutherland

Photo: alicepopkorn ( in and out )

I can see
you need
a lifeboat
a set of strong
arms wrapped
around you
one brave hand
reaching up
from the abyss

but
my previous
rescue attempts
have ended
in failure

I was a lifeguard
who instinctively
dove in
battled the waves
and changing currents
to save another
only to find
that I had
forgotten
how to swim

someone
had to drown
so I let go
I did
everything I
possibly could
to get back
to the safety
of the shore

but I
cannot lie
it was a pathetic dog paddle
I could not help
but swallow
salty water

and now
having reached
the beach
having lost
so much before
to the awful bottom
I cannot even
stand to stick
one little toe
into any body
of water